Everyone makes connections with characters in movies, shows, and even cartoons. We find certain qualities where we relate and see a part of us in them. These characters also have specific traits we wish we could have in real life. Who wouldn’t want to fly, do magic, be a superspy, or even fight with light sabers. These traits are more difficult to acquire, so if you can’t have them, join them. When entering the world of fictional characters, this is the A-list of party invites:
20. Harry Potter
Not Hermione? Do you really want to leave the bar by midnight and study for potions Transfiguration, Charms, Potions, History of Magic, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy or even Herbology? Probably not, unless you are secretly a wizard or witch, but you would probably know by now. This is the dark horse of the list, but hanging with Harry will get you close to Hermione without having to go home at midnight. Sure a lot of people die around Harry, but it adds danger and excitement to every night. Don’t drink too many butter beers and remember every drink could be your last.
19. Peter Griffin (Family Guy)
Incompetence has not stopped this Irish Catholic living in Rhode Island from the American Dream. He has three kids, wife, blue collar job, and the house. He may not sound like a typical party pal, but Peter is no typical guy. He is the iconic American dad no one would mind sitting next to at a bar. Obnoxious, loud, and crude, at times but what he lacks in conversation he makes up in laughter. Plays pranks on his own kids, is a huge Kiss fan, and loves to fart. Peter works the grind of an 8 to 5 job, while knowing the importance of an after work drink to calm the mind with friends, laziness, and drinking at the Drunken Clam.
18. Yoda (Star Wars)
In a galaxy far far away a long time ago a Jedi master waits for last call. He may make a better bartender than drinking pal. But let’s be honest, we all need the occasionally life changing advice while drinking. Whether it’s balancing the force in your daily life or choosing between good and the dark side, Yoda will be there to provide help. Who is better suited to give advice than Master Yoda? As Yoda said, “Foreplay, cuddling – a Jedi craves not these things.” A true Jedi craves a drink in one hand and a light saber in the other.
17. Gandalf (Lord of the Rings)
Very old, long majestic white beard, and an extremely powerful wizard. Sounds like a cool grandpa to me. With age comes wisdom and everyone could use some elderly guidance at the bar. It worked pretty well with Bilbo along the way. Gandalf played a major role in defeating the evil Dark Lord Sauron, so I’m sure he won’t bore you with stories. Don’t let his age fool you because he can hang with anyone and probably conjure up some delicious drinks.
16. Natasha Romanoff (The Avengers)
Also known as the Black Widow. This was simply for her being a badass. Girls can also make better wingmen at times and you couldn’t ask for someone better. If an evil godlike figure Loki tries taking control of your heart, she will help you. Do you get belligerent with beer strength late at night? Natasha can handle the Hulk, so she can handle you. She’ll also be the best dressed in her back leather, but any inappropriate moves will probably lead to a leg kick to the head.
15. Ace Ventura
He will always warn you before using the bathroom. Pet lover, detective, and wacky behavior leads to no average drinking companion. Easily confused with an escaped rehab patient. I would not suggest him as a roommate, but his weird personality would provide a nice sideshow for any now out on the town. He may even invite some of his animal friends, but no bats.
14.The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
He is not quite successful as the other names on the list. He is an unemployed, in his 40’s, chronic smoker, laid back, and shabby dresser. Everything about him screams slacker, but he always lives in the present moment. He gives off a cooler sense of YOLO. The Dude is never worried about being himself, but faces anxiety throughout his life. His stress relieving strategies will set you up for a good night.
13. Tyler Durden (Fight Club)
His form of a drinking game could be very dangerous. If you are depressed, don’t expect him to cheer you up. He is Nihilist and activist against social order. He only has two rules, so make sure you follow. If not then you can expect a firm ass kicking. He stands out from the crowd in his push against popular culture. After a few drinks he will make you look at the world in a completely different way.
British espionage at it’s best. This international man of mystery raises the bar for all other friends. Basil Exposition referred to Austin as “irresistible to women, deadly to his enemies and a legend in his own time.” It would be difficult to hang out in his shadow, but women and mystery will follow.
11. James Bond
The Sean Connery version of course. A soothing voice goes well with a good drink. Good luck with getting any attention from the other girls in the bar though. This superspy truly withstands the test of time. No matter the decade, Bond is suave, smooth, and debonair. No matter the situation he will stay calm, cool, and collective. Bad decisions can be made drinking, but not with Bond by your side. There’s a strong chance you will die, but with no risk comes no reward.
10. James Tiberius Kirk (Star Trek)
He is a born leader whether it’s through space or to the next bar. Starfleets’s youngest ever commander and captain of the Enterprise. Strong willed regular guy from Iowa who would always have your back in any fight. We all want a friend who can be tolerant of our bar behavior. If he can put up with Spock on a regular basis I’m sure he can put up with you.
9. Jake (Adventure time)
He’s loyal, magical, and a man’s best friend. Finn would be quick to agree. He has stretchy powers and can morph into basically anything. He’s very laid back, likes to dance, sing and has been known to play a mean viola. He has the ability to always make you laugh even in the most dangerous of times. He may need some motivation leaving the house at times, but he is the ultimate companion. He could be the center of any party. He even speaks Korean, so he can pretty much do anything.
8. Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)
“That escalated quickly” will be a common phrase when hanging out with this award winning anchorman. Unpredictable and the perfect wild card for any group. Not your normal anchorman being ignorant, narcissistic, and not too intelligent. Nevertheless he is the centerpiece for a good time. Always expect the unexpected with this drinking buddy, especially for all you scotch drinkers. Ron believes there is no bad time for scotch and that includes breakfast.
7. Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)
This is for all the rum fans out there needing a drinking buddy. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, or two, or maybe three? Captain Jack is rarely sober and knows how to handle his liquor. He may stutter and stumble occasionally, but he’s always leading you to the booty.
Excitement and danger are synonymous in Archer’s life. Codename “Duchess and license to kill. You will need to look past his traits of being egotistical, self-centered, and narcissistic. These traits just put him outside the top 5, but he is never worried to say what’s on his mind. Also, don’t cross him because he may kill you. What you have is a man who likes to drink and excitement follows him. DANGER ZONE!
5. Han Solo (Star Wars)
Another Star Wars characters, but unlike Yoda, one that needed to be near the top of the list. First of all he is best friends with Chewbacca. Someone needs to translate what that awesome beast is saying. He may have technically been a criminal, but not one you root against. This intergalactic hero does what is necessary. Han’s isn’t the type of guy to turn down a challenge or drink. Can you say one great wing man? He’s sarcastic, arrogant, and reckless, but in a cool way. You saw what he did with the beautiful Princess Leia? Sure, she made out with her brother, but that doesn’t make Han’s accomplishment any less spectacular. He saves the day and get’s the girl. That is the type of guy I will drink with any day.
4. Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
Have you ever read the Barney’s Bro Code? Do it. Have you ever read the Playbook? Learn it. Barney is the ultimate successful bro. A worthy top 5 candidate for any party list. He wears expensive suits, gives fist bumps, high fives, and teaches you how to live life to the fullest. As Barney would say a night out with him would be “legen…….wait for it……dary” and most of us would have to agree. It shouldn’t be to hard to draw him away from Maclaren’s Pub. If there are single girls he will come, as long as they are under 30.
3. Tony Stark (Iron Man)
Most people who graduate college at the age of 19 might be considered a social outsider. That is not Tony Stark. Who is he Tony Stark? Billionaire, genius engineer, superhero, self destructive, and knows how to have a good time. Sometimes this involves drinking in the Iron man suit. This can occasionally lead to him blasting his house away, but that doesn’t stop him from saving the world from an alien invasion. These factors could all lead to one memorable night. He also has some godlike friends who may tag along as long as there is enough shawarma to go around. This avenger has quite the busy lifestyle, but one night with Tony Stark should be enough excitement.
2. Bender (Futurama)
Some drink to lose control, but Bender is the exact opposite. In order to function properly Bender Bending Rodríguez needs to drink constantly. Becoming sober would cause him to lose control of his body functions. He has come a long way from his fraternity days at Bending State College and his career as a bender. His daily routine involves drinking, smoking, and stealing every day. His life as the Assistant Manager of Sales at Planet Express is his more of a hobby, while drinking is his job. Bender may be arrogant, but shows a sympathetic side to his friends occasionally, but especially to Fry. Stay on his good side and not the kill list. If you do then he knows how to have a good time. Maybe not the greatest friend, but one of the most desirable drinking pals.
1. Randy Marsh (South Park)
Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Kenny? They are too young to drink. If those kids grow up to be half the partier Randy is then they might make this list. He even met his wife Sharon at Woodstock in 1969. Outrageous, raunchy, and belligerent are good ways to describe this one man wrecking ball. His life has been filled with many obsessions such as fighting, achieving world records, and Broadway shows which give way to his wacky behavior. You would never peg him as a geologist with a Doctorate, but Randy proves looks can be deceiving. He may not always drink, but when he does he does it heavily. If the moment calls for it, Randy is ready to party. That is why he is our number one party friend.
I may not be fictional, but I am a character: The Man, the Myth, the Mike.
By the Man, the Myth, the Mike