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Creepers. You Like Them.

Oh yes, this is like the most epic topic anyone could ever ask me to write about. And no one did. But I’m doing it anyway!!!!! HA! So, everyone that knows me personally knows that I go on and on about “Creepers.”  Creepers, by my definition, can be anyone who contacts, stares, or stalks a person in person or online without tact. By the way, TACT is a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense.  I am so glad I looked up that definition because it really does explicitly describe what makes a Creeper a Creeper.  I think a lot of people are confused about the term, and get upset when they just try to compliment someone, or want to look at their publicly available 38472359084 million pictures on Facebook without being labeled something negative.  So I am here to help you all understand the difference between Acceptable Creepers (yes that is a thing!) and Creepy Creepers.

Let’s start with my favorite: Creepy Creepers.  These are they guys (could be girls but in my case are usually guys) that in one example, get online and friend request  every girl with exposed cleavage in their avatars or follow them on twitter because they want to bang them.  The sad part is, most of these girls accept requests from these guys because they are trying to develop a fan base for their “Modeling” Career or something similar. Quantity is not better than quality ladies! They just want to do dirty things while they look at your pictures and then they creep all of your friends to add them too! For the record, I do a “Creeper Call Out” on Facebook, where I post the list of names of guys that have friended me, whom I deem to be creepers. I totally have a system for categorizing these guys too; I just see how many friends in common we have, and count how many are girls vs. guys.  Oh, so somehow you know 30 girls that I do, but you don’t know one single dude? Strannnnnnnnnge. With the people I am friends with in Pittsburgh, that’s pretty much impossible to have happen unless you are a dude that even other dudes think is creepy. DENIED.  Oh and if the guy has even one guy friend in common with me, I won’t call him out on creepin’ just in case they might not be. So you can see that I am very careful in labeling Creepers- and if you can think of some non creepy reasons a male  would have 30 female friends in common with me but 0 guys PLEASE post them below.

So I could type forever about Creepy Creepers, but hopefully you get the idea from that example. On to Acceptable Creepers! Like me! Yes, I am a totally self-proclaimed Creeper! Most people do a lot of creepin’ and they just need to admit it. I hope that I can expose my Creeper habits and encourage you all to admit your own; if it wouldn’t offend someone then who cares! It’s good creepin! Acceptable Creepers are also known as FANS. We all want fans! In fact, if you think about it, Promotional Models pretty much HAVE to be Creepers and pretend to like/be a fan of individuals, in order to get THEM to be fans of brand they are promoting.  A Promotional Model has to initiate conversations with strangers a zillion times per event and has to do it in a non-creepy way. They may have to stare at a person for uncomfortable minutes until they purchase a drink at the bar, before going up to them and talking about what brand they did or didn’t select.  They might have to interrupt a romantic date to ask for your email addresses.  They might ask for your phone number and twitter account name. But at least, they are usually attractive and oftentimes you get something in return; a keychain or t-shirt, so no one ever minds. You might never have thought of a Promo Model as being a Creeper, but next time you are in a bar with one, pretend they are some super old guy acting the same way- CREEPY!

So in conclusion, please be like me and admit that you really like some Creepers, and might even be one yourself! Look, you are creepin my blog post right now! You better go buy the shirt above from one of my awesome Twitter Creepers, @AngryMongo who made it just for me!  And if you need more insight on Creepers, please watch this video from my idol, Jenna Marbles. She has a Masters in Sport Psychology and Counseling and knows her shit.

Creep me on Twitter! @CliqueAsaurus

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2 Comments

  1. James Watt said:

    Awesome. I like your methods. I friend almost everyone who comes up in my “you may know” feed – regardless if they are a guy or girl. (The only ones I don’t friend are businesses who still don’t understand the concept between a facebook page and a facebook profile.)

    In the past, I’m sure girls have assumed I was “creeping” when I sent an unsolicited friend request because they do not bother checking out mutual friends or see how many guy friends I have. It’s nice to know that not everyone jumps to conclusions.

  2. Damaris said:

    I didn’t really think about those damn “people you may know” suggestions. Are those based on mutual friends or just people in your area? I’m sure guys click yes on those repeatedly out of boredom, so I’ll have to add that to my reasons a guy might not be a major creeper but glad you like my methods. I get accused of labeling too many people creepers so I had to come out of the closet with my own reasoning/creeping. Thank you for reading & your comments!!

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