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Elf on the Shelf Gone Bad…..

Growing up, I never once heard of the Elf on a Shelf. The more I started to hear about him, the more I became confused as to why the hell parents would place this creepy doll around the house to terrify their children. Then I heard the Elf on a Shelf story and was overwhelmed with anger reminiscing about my Elf on a Shelf-less childhood.
elf-bath-tub
If you are not familiar with the Elf on a Shelf story, I will tell you. He is one of Santa’s minions sent from the North Pole to help manage the Naughty or Nice list. A family adopts the elf on the shelf and then gives him a name. The elf watches over the house and each night flies back to the North Pole to report Christmas cheer back to the boss, Santa. The North Pole apparently still relies on magic for travel and communication even though Skype and FedEx now exist. After the return from the North Pole, the elf finds another place in the house to set up shop and the kids wake up and search for him. How F’n cool is that!?

true-merchant

vic-secrets-elf
After being enslaved for years and living a life of servitude to Santa, these elves get out on their own and the taste of freedom is sometimes too much. Elves are easily influenced and start exploring freedom. Freedom usually leads their life into a downward spiral full of strippers, hookers, and blow. These are examples of the Elf on the Shelf gone bad and what happens when the elf turns to a life of mischief and self-destruction. Much like most of our early 20’s.
cocaine-elf elf-puke copy elf-on-shelf-drunk gangster-elf-on-shelf elf-silence-of-the-lambs elf-pills Elf-on-the-Shelf-Sons-of-Anarchy_0182 bad-elf-kill-santa Bad-Elf-on-the-Shelf elf_on_the_Shelf_beer_Bong bad-elf elf-on-shelf-cut-fingetr elf-doggie-style elf-shave copy passed-out condoms Jigsaw-Elf-on-the-Shelf-saw-33032557-1844-1383 elf-shave drinking elf-on-toothbrush funny-elf-on-the-shelf-11 elf-cocain stripper elf-poop threesome-eos elf-captive elf-girls-gone-wild elf-puke elf-dick-in-box elf-on-shelf-overdose

By: Pat Hanavan

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15 Comments

  1. Pingback: @PatHanavan

  2. Pingback: Inappropriate, Naughty Elf-on-the-Shelf Pics

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  5. Pingback: 34 Shades of Elf on the Shelf ⋆

  6. Joe said:

    XD I had a look at these and my mind was blown to bits first of tho some were mean I feel sad when the Lego’s we’d go back this is
    Are home and I whent to myself saying hmmmmmmmmmmm ok but the rest was funny I mean not the sex ones but you get what I mean! But if you are reading this then thank you for reading >:) 🙂 thank you!!!

  7. Joe said:

    Hi again people it’s me again and I just wanna say is…… THANK YOU GOD!!!!!! FOR GIVING THE WORLD POKEMON SWORD AND SHEILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll see you when on the Pokemon flip side ;3☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

  8. Jake said:

    Hi again people it’s me again and I just wanna say is…… THANK YOU GOD!!!!!! FOR GIVING THE WORLD POKEMON SWORD AND SHEILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll see you when on the Pokemon flip side ;3☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

  9. Joe said:

    Hi again people it’s me again and I just wanna say is…… THANK YOU GOD!!!!!! FOR GIVING THE WORLD POKEMON SWORD AND SHEILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ll see you on the Pokemon flip side ;3☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
    And I love the elf on the Shelf I mean we have twenty of them

  10. Joe said:

    Hi again people it’s me again and I just wanna say is
    And I love the elf on the Shelf I mean we have twenty of them

  11. Joe said:

    Hi again people it’s joe in the house and I wanna say is I love the elf on the Shelf I mean we have twenty of them

  12. Joe said:

    Sorry for saying the same thing over and over and over again it was lagging and it did it a few times so thanks for reading

  13. Pingback: 34 Shades of Elf on the Shelf • Wustoo

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