I am a little bitch when it comes to any form of public speaking. I consider myself a huge fan of stand up comedy and would love to one day try it. Instead, like the little bitch that I am, I sit behind a computer all day writing things on the internet. The fear of performing stand up is something I one day hope to conquer but for now, I can continue to hide and write from the comfort of my kitchen table.
When that day finally comes where I gather whatever lack of balls I have and agree to humiliate myself on a stage with nothing more than a microphone and spotlight, I can tell you one thing… I won’t take LSD prior to the show. Vice has to be one of my favorite corners of the internet and stumbling across this video was everything I needed to help conquer my fear. Actually that’s not true, I can’t use alcohol as a crutch so maybe I’ll have to attempt an LSD trip when I finally decide to grace the stage…
One week before my birthday this year, I was talking to someone at work about the time I took a shit ton of mushrooms in Amsterdam during New Year’s and had a life-changing experience that has since made me a better person and far more focused in life. No less than 24 hours later, I was in a cab en route to perform stand up comedy with a head full of acid and a stomach full of puppies shitting themselves in horror.
I wasn’t coerced, talked into, or persuaded to do something as nerve-racking as telling jokes to a room of strangers—paying customers, no less—for the first time ever while simultaneously tripping on powerful psychedelic drugs. I didn’t really think through how terrible it could go at the time. I was stupid, not brave. I took out most of my anger on Jamie Lee Curtis Taete, about whom I remember saying things like “you’re such a twat” and “I fucking hate you, prick.”
It would be great if I could say that doing stand-up on acid was profound and moving. But I would be lying. I just thought it would be funny. Maybe it was. But it’s also a dumb, fucking terrifying thing to do. So, please do enjoy this video, but please don’t ever try anything like this yourself. It nearly cost me my sanity.
By: Pat Hanavan