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Nicolas Cage. Flowing Black Mullet. Playing Superman For Tim Burton… What Happened?

Nicolas Cage was 100% cast as Superman in Tim Burton’s superhero vision for the story, “Superman Lives“. Another gigantic name attached to the project fromthe geek and cult-following movie world; none other than Silent Bob himself, Kevin Smith. Obviously, you’ve never seen this movie because as it stands right now, this movie never happened. How could you go wrong? It’s Nicolas Cage. Look a that  rockstar mullet of justice. Tim Burton’s Batman visions were legendary. What could hold back his Superman from coming to fruition? Lets find out.

The Death of Superman Lives; What Happened? Full Trailer

Personally, I would like to thank whatever reason ultimately killed this movie, on the sole basis that Nicolas Cage doesn’t need a super villain to kill Superman when his acting is more than capable of doing so on its own. That’s not to say Nic hasn’t made any good movies, but he’s just not a superhero, and certainly not the superhero of superheroes, Superman. The fact is, as Superman, Nicolas Cage fights himself and is his own enemy more than any super villain ever could be. Truly, Superman’s real enemy here is NOT Brainiac… it’s male pattern baldness.

bald-supermanRight? Right. Not exactly the super hairline. With his hairline so far back, there’s clearly no way they would be able to do the Superman front hair curl without making it look like they’re dangling a fishhook in hopes of catching Cage’s eyebrows. Christopher Reeve knows what I’m talking about.

superman-hair-curl1Ok enough Nicolas Cage bashing… wait no… one more thing… Even though the writing was so horrible on its own, and it’s massively doubtful any level of amazing actors could have saved the movies, Nicolas Cage was just terrible in Ghost Rider 1… and 2. You know, the straight to DVD sequel. OK, now I’m done.

So here we have a movie Kevin Smith wants to make, about a movie that never got made, and probably with the agenda that if said movie not yet made about the movie that was never made, gets made, it may generate some fan traction and public interest for the movie that was never made, to actually end up getting made. It’s really not all that confusing. It’s also apparently fan funded. So if you have an interest in seeing the movie that was never made, you might want to contribute to the movie that they currently want to make, in hopes that they can get back to finishing the movie they were never able to finish making… but this time hopefully they’ll consider recasting for Nicolas Cage’s part as the Man of Steel.

So what say you? Would you actually want the Nicolas Cage Superman movie? Would you at least want to see the Tim Burton version of Superman? I do. How about that ridiculous mullet wig??? Get it all going down in the comments and I’ll see you there.

We should definitely like up on  facebooktwitter and instagram. At the very least, it’ll be a better experience than watching the Nicolas Cage version of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.

By: Eli Rebich

 

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One Comment;

  1. dmd7978D said:

    Why couldnt Superman be losing his hair? It would be a perfect way to show how Kryptonite has a long-term radioactive type effect, on him….

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