Rant: Look Who’s Twerking Now! Miley Has Infected The Galactic Empire.

By Urban Dictionary definition:

Twerking – the act of moving/shaking ones ass/buns/bottom/buttocks/bum-bum in a circular, up-and-down, and side-to-side motion.

By my definition:

Twerking – the dumbest “word” (by the loosest possible definition) on the planet, closely followed by runners up: swag, yolo, bling, doe, swag, swag and swag.

I don’t really condone stupidity but it’s out there and there’s not a whole lot I can do about it, so it’s more like I just put up with it and try my hardest to avoid it. But like I said… it’s out there, it’s probably a huge internet trend, and as trends do, they spread like wildfire to everything they can until they’ve completely exhausted their options and finally die out, which then makes me happy. Typically, I have to put up with a lot before me being happy, happens. I’m still waiting for that with “twerking”.

But I declare, a line must be drawn! “Twerking” has gone too far this time. Now it has invaded my happy place. “Twerking” has invaded Star Wars, thus… “twerking” must die.

The word “twerking” makes me cringe. I can’t blame Miley Cyrus for its existence, but she’s pretty much its spokesperson right now. The action itself has been alive and well since erotic dancing’s inception. The fact that it’s now commonplace to say, do, and most likely, plaster all over the google machine interwebs… well I’d say my emotions towards that is something in the realm of, a blood-boiling, ravenous hatred.

I think it all really spans from the word itself… “twerking”. It’s dripping and oozes of unintelligence. But that’s what’s cool these days. Nothing like a good buzzword to get pop culture obsessives stirring about. Do something stupid, name it something even more stupid, maybe to add a stupid garnish, stupidly stick out your tongue while doing it like you’re the crazy chick decepticon from Transformers 2, and you’ve created the hippest trend ever… until all the stupids find a really tasty window that occupies their tongues and brains a little bit more.


If you’ve been following my posts on here, you know I’m a huge geek. The nice thing about that is, although a lot of my entertainment is derived from fiction and fantasy, it’s always creative. Someone had to imagine it to make it a part of our reality. It’s not a bastardization of “reality” situations or a mockery of the English language, pandering to the lowest common denominator of human. That’s a damn good definition of modern pop culture, right now. Alternatively, that kind of creativity is laced with intelligence, even when it’s intention is to be silly or humorous. It relies on you to be intellectually on it’s same level so the punchlines deliver. Geek stuff might bore you because it not the jingling of the shiny pop culture keys in front of your simple face, but most pop culture bores the hell out of me because it has no substance to it whatsoever.

“Twerking” is a stupid, stupid word and an all around dumb trend in general. The best thing it ever did was bring to light how dull-minded the majority of you are by necessitating it’s reporting to gain huge viewer ratings on every news level there is, from local to national, even though the story was completely fake. Thank you Jimmy Kimmel for that. News gets stupid for the stupids.

I usually say, you can take anything and mix it with Star Wars and it’s instantly made better. Not this time. Pop culture, infect anything and everything you want, but leave my geek world alone. This is how us geeks would resolve this situation…

death-star-kills-twerkingI know I’m not alone in this. By all means, absolutely vent like crazy and dump out your frustrations in the comments section. For starters, I can’t believe how many times I typed “twerking”. I need about a billion showers now.

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By: Eli Rebich


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