Why You are a Douchebag for Calling Justin Bieber a Douchebag

It seems as if just about everyone in the world hates Justin Bieber. As much as everyone wishes that to be true, unfortunately it is not the case. If the Biebs was actually universally hated by all, he would have simply dissipated from the media’s attention much like mega-douche Jon Gosselin. Even with the announcement of Bieber’s retirement, it does not seem as if the young star is going anywhere soon…. Except maybe rehab.

Even though you may have your personal opinions about Bieber, that doesn’t necessarily give you the right to call him a douchebag. Your hate towards Bieber is nothing but jealously, he lives the life and these are some examples to prove it:

$130 Million:


That number represents his net worth. Let that one sink in for a bit…. Now that it has, do you think your net worth will ever be that much? As much as we all hope for that one day, you and I both know that chances are you wont come anywhere close to that.

@JustinBieber has 48.8 Million Followers:


In a social world, everybody wants to be cool. Well guess what, you are not 48.8 Million followers cool but the Bieber is.

Bieber owns this house:


I can understand that a few millionaires may come across this article and think, “I have a house like that!” Well, you didn’t have a house like this at the age of 19.

He drives a chrome Fisker Karma:


Do you drive a $100,000 car?

And he has a Custom Batman Car:


Do you have a custom Batman car?

There is a website called JustinBieberZone.com:

According to that last picture

Chances are, you do not have a fan created website dedicated to you. Sit back and imagine if you did. Now go look at your Facebook profile. Start scrolling through all of your pictures and your timeline. Your Facebook profile is nothing more than a shitty fan website dedicated to yourself, managed by you. How does that one feel?

He is already Retired:


Justin Bieber thankfully announced his retirement at the age of just 19. At the age of 19, most people are adjusting to their new dorm rooms in college or on the fast track to a management position at their local McDonalds. Where were you at 19?

He took Selena Gomez’s Virginity:


I am not a credible source of information, I am simply regurgitating what Hollywood Gossip columns say and they say he banged Selena Gomez when they dated. Did you take Gomez’s virginity? I didn’t think so. (Doesn’t sound too hot when you refer to her just as Gomez)

Every Girl Secretly Wants to Bang Bieber and Would:


Every girl in the world secretly wants to bang Justin Bieber, especially the 20-30 year old girls. Sorry guy, this means your girlfriend too. Any girl who tells you otherwise is lying.

Lesbians Would Bang Him Too:


There is an entire corner of the internet filled with lesbians who look like Justin Bieber. Not saying that is a good thing, but, it’s just another thing that Bieber got that you do not. No one dedicates websites to you!

Bieber is Friends with Usher:


Are you friends with Usher? Chances are you are not and Usher is essentially the black Justin Timberlake. Or is Justin Timberlake the white Usher? If Google ever figures out how to successfully clone humans, I am pretty sure that mixing Usher DNA with Justin Timberlake DNA would create a cool Micheal Jackson-like creature.

And Finally, Bieber Banged Her:


You know that feeling when you hook up with someone way out of your league and you think to yourself, “I want the entire world to know that I banged this person!” Well, not only did Justin Bieber bang someone like that, the entire world actually knows about it. Yea, you could most likely pay for the same exact kind of chick in Brazil but the whole world would never know about it.

Closing Thoughts:

Is Justin Bieber really a douchebag? Of course he is, but before you cast the first stone, take a look at your own life. Once you’ve realized that your hatred towards Bieber is primarily fueled by jealousy, you can then call him whatever you want, like I do:

Justin Bieber – I think you are a douchebag, you douchebag! Sincerely, Pat Hanavan.

Comment below and tell us what you think of Bieber!

By: Pat Hanavan



  1. suckamean1 said:

    You and your idol are douchebags. Get off the little pussy fags dick you loser. A real man would fuck that kid up for being such a douchey punk not for being jealous.

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