This post is BEYOND delayed! I can only offer the excuse that I couldn’t narrow down my girl crushes because I HAVE SO MANY! Ok to back things up, I watched a Jenna MarblesÂ video a few weeks back (what else is new? My eyes are glued to her YouTubeÂ channel ever WEEEENdsday) and I was inspired!
Miss Marbles made a video about how she is always asked about her sexual orientation because she makes flattering and Lesbian-like comments about other women. While, sadly for lesbians, she admitted to being straight and liking the PEEN, she did however confess to having girl crushes and detailed the three levels of said crushes.
Some people may wonder about my ownÂ orientation as well, what with my weekly Hottie of the Week blog postÂ that praises all the wonders of sexy ladies. So, Jenna’s openness and honesty are straight inspirational and I must follow in her footsteps to confess my own Girl Crushes on each tier. Let’s Begin.
Tier One: “I love you”
This is the tier of Girl Crushing where you just want to be Best Friends for F***ing Forever with a girl.Â You think they are cool and just want to hang out with them. Well folks, my Tier One Girl Crush is Katie Richter, the radio host out on WVAQ. Not only is she pleasing on the eye, but Katie is super funny and she is always talking to me on the radio and making me just have a great day! I would love to like go to a county fair with her and stuff our faces with fried food and take pictures with farm animals together! Katie, if you are reading this, please do not get a restraining order on me.
This is the tier of wanting to BE another girl. Well, you might think I would say Jenna Marbles for this one but NO! I have the hugest Tier Two Girl Crush on Jessica Alba. Why can’t my skin be the color of Creme Brulee???? WHY CAN’T I BE IN A MOVIE WITH PAUL WALKER! Seriously though. She is beautiful and I would replicate her DNA and replace mine with it in a heartbeat.
Tier Three: “Scissor Me Timbers”
Ok, this tier might be too much to handle but as Jenna dictates; this is the tier where you just want to straight up start a brush fire IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.Â Well, my take on this is who WOULD you turn lesbian for, if it were possible. Of course, I am under a Tier Three Girl Crush with the one and only Jenna Marbles. I’m sorry but it’s true. If we were trapped on a deserted island and she was like, “Hey D-Rex, you wanna make out?” I’d be like “I thought you’d never ask!”Â Boom. To show you just how serious I am with this girl crush, I have included this MIRROR PIC with DUCK FACE of Jenna because while those are two things that are instant turn offs for me, I would STILL eat any food substance off of those abs. Even onions. Even mustard. I am ready for Fear Factor with Jenna as the table.
Well, I hope that between these confessions and the original video post below you will be inspired as well Â to post below who’s YOUR girl crush.
I think the big message here, is toÂ not be afraid to give complements to other girls. No hating on members of your gender out of jealousy if you wish you had someone’s hair, job, or abs. Instead, post it for the world to see and compliment the chick while doing so!